My room has been darkening for some hours and I’ve only noticed it now. But nothing can quite capture the feeling of dying sunlight on somebody else’s windowsill, hitting the half-dead fish surrounded by waters just as murky as your own intentions. Not to mention those of the strangers around you- constantly fiddling with a small purse, trying to find the best place to safeguard it from pickpockets without disturbing the gracious hosts or yourself.
It had been eight months since I had last slept in that bed, unless my memory is playing tricks upon me again. And in that eight months, the obsessions had neither ceased nor waned- just changed their subjects, looking for another cheap thrill that would not have any result on the world.
But corrupted alphabets have to end somewhere, unfounded fears put to rest and resurrected anew in other languages- tongues doing double duty, triple, tea bubbles and hasty words dissolving, sometimes sweet and sometimes bitter. A hit or miss event; mostly miss, something always amiss.
So I guess I’m not at the verge of a complete mental shutdown anymore.
Actually, that’s a lie. My health teacher’s got a vendetta against me and my Spanish teacher thinks it’s funny to spread out homework assignments across as many sites as possible. But hey, my meme game’s gotten stronger, so there’s that.
I don’t think I’m going to be posting every single day anymore. In the beginning, I posted when I damn well felt like it, and I got far more views due to the erratic posting nature- there was no longer a set time at which people could check to get all that day’s posts in one go. Gotta squeeze those views out somehow.
It’s a simple matter of quality over quantity. Either one can rush posts in an effort to have something new every day, putting unnecessary strain on themselves to publish something even when they have no thoughts to put down, or one can stay behind and craft a masterpiece to publish every once in a while- but then again, apparently people ditch their place in the following list if you don’t make your presence known in their feed often enough. No, I’m not dead. at least, not physically
In addition, I’m going to try to find a way to bypass the stats page that automatically loads when I try to go from the Reader to the post edit page without defaulting back to the old-style editor. A post’s success should be determined by its quality and the worth it imparts to its readers and to me in the process of making it, not by how many likes it gathers or views it receives. Besides, being an advocate for online privacy, I’ve noticed how the Ghostery plugin lists the necessary scripts WordPress runs on every page to gather stats as a tracker, which it then blocks. In addition, RSS readers and email followers don’t get these scripts regardless, so there are more uncounted views. This could be one of the post popular blogs on the internet and I wouldn’t even know.
My new house is coming together quite nicely, although my new room has substantially less space to move around than my old room did. My dogs, given every single opportunity, immediately run down to my room and jump onto my bed, where they stay for hours in an attempt to hinder any tries to do homework. The sink above the downstairs bathroom feels the need to remind everyone to wash their hands and use soap. Life is getting better, I guess.
You know, if this were ten or so years ago and I were publishing this on geocities, this post would have probably been prefaced with at least twenty dabbing GIFs that unintentionally crash every computer looking for free DLC. (Which you can’t get with this as it would violate copyright, unless you use freeshop, which I’ll be covering in a later post.)
This particular story takes place in my new house, exhausted and ready to fall asleep at any moment and suffering through the worst writer’s block I’ve had in a while. I mean, seriously- how am I supposed to spice up a lightrail train ride without filling the whole thing with self-reflection that I can imply later anyways? I hate feeling ham-fisted.
Of course, there are those who would beg to differ.
What a beautiful gift to humanity HANS is- allowing one to take screenshots in games they’re normally not allowed to, apply patches to allow everyone to be gay, changing all the voice actors to the supremely more pleasing-to-the-ear Japanese versions… But I digress. Good old Sm4sh already allows screenshots, plus all the “hacks” available are just texture and sound replacements that I can’t do anyways because they require a custom firmware. So, instead, we’ll just have to pull out ol’ reliable…
These were taken long before I got HANS. Please don’t judge 😦
The first hack displayed here is Playable Bosses, which are basically repurposed bosses from other parts of the game (and other game paths I can’t play because I’m broke) and some other characters from the previous FE game, Awakening. As you can see, when an event is triggered that normally would elicit a response from another character, most of these units don’t have any lines due to normally not being available in castle mode. However, most of the Awakening characters bundled in have lines, with only Severa that I know of to have any actual support options.
For a few of the characters, such as Anankos, Blight Dragon Garon (middle), and Empty Vessel Garon (far right), they have no idle animation data for the castle viewing function and thus just stay static models. Which can get a bit creepy when randomly spawning in right next to fully animated units…
Next up is the character swap patch, allowing characters from Birthright to join in Conquest. Unlike the save editing method demonstrated last time, this does not require constantly shuffling data between a computer and the 3DS’s microSD card; although, since the new units join via the same chapter events that normally spawn each retainer, if there’s a specific unit that you wanted that otherwise would be replaced, you will have to play that specific chapter via the Home Menu (and thus giving up screenshot support and any other patches) or disable ROMFS patching in HANS (which will still boot without any other patches). The Hoshidan unit spawning tries to match up with their Nohrian counterparts- for example, in chapter 7, when Elise the healer normally joins, Sakura the healer will join instead and be accompanied by her retainers Subaki and Hana instead of Arthur and Elise.
Of course, one should exercise caution when using this patch- Birthright characters tend to be weaker than their Conquest counterparts and have weaker growths, which is normally remedied in their original path via the Scouting and Challenge functions- but since Conquest has a limited amount of experience points to go around and thus doesn’t have these options, you have to be more careful than usual when choosing how to level characters. of course, if you have the Boo Camp DLC, this is far less of a problem as long as you’re strong enough to farm
Although, to be honest, I’m still holding out for when Hinoka joins and can tank everything- maybe then she’ll fix the bug not letting the S support button not showing up even with the gay patch.
Posts always sound more spectacular in my head, but when it’s actually time to write them down, I always forget the minor details that made it a masterpiece and just repeat the half-constructed skeleton. Of course, there’s always the problem of not wanting to spill so many details that I sound like a self-important jerk fishing for attention and pity.
I’ve been in an unhealthy place mentally in the past few months- or over the past year; I’m not really sure exactly when the downturn in my self-esteem began. Blogging has become more and more of a chore than a hobby, often forgetting to post something until a mere hour until bed, at which point I’ve become so exhausted that all I can do is a few photo editing tricks. That explains the recent decline in post quality. Of course, it really doesn’t help that I almost suffered a mental breakdown at school today and just really need a break from as many responsibilities as I can so I can get my life back on track.
I don’t want this place to turn into another Twitter where I was obsessively checking my follower count and worrying about long hiatuses in which people decided that I wasn’t worth their time and unfollowed me. Blogging is and always should be about the fun of sharing thoughts instantly all over the world first and everything else second. The magic of it all has left me. I need to get it back.
I’ve decided to take a hiatus from posting on this blog for two weeks and devote all my writing time to writing my next book, A Shatter Down The Hall, and editing Me Before You. Please don’t unfollow me- I promise I’ll be back with the best content this blog has ever seen. I just need some time to think.
I’m not even sure myself anymore. There are too many boxes in my room for me to think of much of anything, too many papers left undone in my folder, too many weeks of school left until early release for the summer and I can focus on finding myself again. I seem to have run off for somewhere a little more hopeful, a little less desolate. Have you seen me?
It seems I’ve been forgetting a lot of things lately. Forgetting to edit Me Before You, which has been sitting in my cloud storage for a few months now. Forgetting to complete my French lessons on Memrise, making me lose a 25-day streak. Forgetting to play nice with the indolent and chatty girls at my table in health class, instead choosing to ignore them outright. Forgetting to maintain my Facebook meme page…
Pretty much procrastinating on every single one of my responsibilities, and I hate it.
But hey, I’ve got a new book I’m writing- no wait, writer’s block has already stricken that one as well. I changed the perspective from first to third person, which helped a bit, but the motivation still isn’t there.
It is actually raining outside and I am on the verge of crying because I have wanted rain for so long. The wind is whispering of wanderlust again, just as it always has, as it always will be long after I have vacated this place.
The driveway is wet, and I do not have to worry about ice forming to threaten a safe travel tomorrow. Maybe the grass will start growing again- by the time it becomes a more lively shade of green again, I won’t live here, but maybe the next inhabitant will enjoy it.