Hey! Did you know that Living Wasteland is out today?
Well, that’s okay, because I didn’t release anything about it until now. And now you know, and now you can read the fruits of a year’s delayed labor. It didn’t come out quiet like I’d imagined it, but I’m satisfied with where Eponine took the story, and maybe one day I’ll work up the motivation to write a sequel worthy of him.
I haven’t been here much recently. I’ve been stuck in a rather… destructive cycle. My gym teacher and the torture she puts us students through each day
makes me want to unironically hang myself saps my willpower and physical energy, which leaves me with little to write, which means fewer posts. And that leads to fewer views (because you can’t view nonexistent posts) and fewer likes, which makes me feel guilt for neglecting my “duties”. Compounded with the next few weeks of pure agony (you know, finals), and I don’t want to be near anything that I can’t use for escapism.
I don’t want to come here for the sole purpose of filling up my notification panel. I don’t want to write poems and short stories for the sole purpose of getting likes.
Because you know what? The likes are meaningless. The follower counts are meaningless. They’re just numbers on a screen. And a year from now, neither you nor I will remember them.
What we will remember is how the poems made us feel. We will remember that line that made us go “huh, that’s a really clever pun” or that drew an uproar of laughter from our lips. We will remember the sadness from the heaviest scenes, and we will remember the ecstasy from the lightest ones. We will remember the characters, and how we related to them, and how we hated some with a burning passion and wanted nothing but the world for others. We will remember plot twists and beautifully crafted scenes and
I had an entire post about quitting the Super Smash Bros. club at school drafted. I was going to rant and rave about the futility of centering an identity around nothing more than glorified children’s toys. But it’s been over a month since my explosive exit, since I realized the futility of staying around a place, doing things I hated with people who cared nothing for me outside of whether or not I could mash buttons.
In any rate, I’m mashing buttons. I’m manipulating pixels on a screen. But it’s what’s left at the end of the day that matters. In one instance, I leave- or put down the system, or whatever the closest equivalent of “leaving” is- and I’ve accomplished nothing, just put in a horrifying amount of “work” to make a few kilobytes of data that I’ll probably end up accidentally deleting during a routine system cleanup. (Which actually happened once: RIP in peace, my Tomodachi Life island.) But in the other instance, the one that matters, I can collapse from exhaustion at the end of the day, content in the art that I’ve made. The art that I can share with others, the art that has the potential to change the world- or at least the one person who needs it most.
Like I said, the likes shouldn’t matter. The follows shouldn’t matter. The pageviews should mean nothing at all, except if you’re a search engine, in which case either be privacytools.io recommended or get the hell out.
Most importantly is the fact that all Neocities pages are backed up and accessible from IPFS, a protocol and network for the distributed web. You know how torrents let you download files from any peer who has that same file and the torrent file? Well, IPFS is like that. No more censorship ever again. MayVaneDay, free, forever.
All of my poems up to G (in alphabetical order) are already in the Archive. I’ll be frantically putting more in over the next few days, along with short stories and various articles I’ve written over the years. I’ll keep writing the books and poems you love. But I want my freedom, and I want it now.
I hope to see you there.