a desolate sunday spent with nothing to do

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I am at Girl Scout Camp right now as I type this, enjoying the air conditioning and abundant watermelon while the air outside grows more and more humid and the sky is colorless and drained as a loop of time at the edge of the world should be.
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Every day I come home completely exhausted, drained both physically. It takes everything I have to continue writing Living Wasteland after a shower and recount everything that’s happened to me in a fictional form. There is no energy left to spin the tale twice.
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Sometimes I find myself in the minds of other characters, of fragments of other people’s imaginations. Longing to slip on their skin for at least a little while and experience life through their eyes. It’s not healthy, I know, but escapism is so attractive…
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And I should never have made that Facebook account. Getting a few accolades for work on hacking Fire Emblem Fates and fulfilling a fantasy of running a meme page was never worth the angst and pain that came from conflicts with other meme pages and self-proclaimed morally superior people. Nothing that could have possibly come out of that hellsite was worth the breach in privacy that came as its price.
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I want to start using alternative services and messengers, but my family members are too imept with technology to bother, and the damn network effect keeps biting me in the ass over and over and over.
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You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t force him to comprehend that the water is poisoned and he should drink from somewhere else.
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Living Wasteland did nothing wrong. Liv followed her heart, and it ended up in her becoming corrupted by sheer power she could never hope of being able to comprehend, much less wield.
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And Eponine Westal did nothing wrong. He tried to fight to keep the hidden life he was comfortable with while making sure that his friends didn’t suffer, but his enemies still found a way to make him destroy himself.
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And Boney just wanted to help his friend, but he ended up being killed in the end.
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But life’s going to get better, I think. Just one more year and then I’ll have all the space in the sky to fill.
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At least, I sure hope so.
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