new computer + new dreams

I’m trapped somewhere under a greenhouse light
desperately urging myself to grow
into something worth being proud in
I guess I’m still trying to find myself

and today I woke up far earlier than I usually do
flung back to seeing Christmas morning as a nine-year-old
and I learned that one does not need faith in a deity
to still find beauty in the world
tree branches scraping the sky
welcoming me home

I love being able to finally call something my own
even if it isn’t well-deserved
still testing out the waters, trying to find my bearings
in a world where the alt button doesn’t activate right-click

everything will be okay, I hope
slowly remembering all the old routines and tricks
this garden will blossom into something worth cultivating
as soon as I can find my keys

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