jumping into the darkness

Dear Samhain, you and I both know that I’m not a superstitious person. I stopped believing in God a while ago, and writing a letter only to burn it isn’t going to magically make it disappear into the same void that you slipped into on Christmas Eve. But my grandma believes in God, and she told me that this would be some sort of a cathartic release, so I’m writing it anyways. And hey, maybe I’ll fail to light a fire outside for it to burn and then my parents will find it and understand why I’m about to do what my subconscious has been planning for a good two weeks behind my own back.
You know Anders? The asshole that took us from our little frozen pocket in time (where we could have lived happily without interference from anybody for a good while) and made a charade of a safe house before going ballistic and deciding that he was going to try to kill everybody? Never mind; it’d be pretty hard to forget the person who stole your right to choose your own exit to life. But it turns out that he’s got superiors backing him, more than you and I ever thought back when you were alive, and I’m going out to shut them down. Not kill them, but disable their whole operation so that they can’t wreck any more lives.
And who knows of how far their insidious fingers reach? Who knows of the other people on this globe or even into the stars beyond us who have been screwed over by Anders and company? And who knows of what they’re planning to do next?
Parents, if you’re reading this somehow and I haven’t destroyed this yet, please forgive me when I’m not in my bed in the morning and you start getting truant calls from the school again. This is more important than an essay on Gothic literature and a packet on balancing chemical equations. This is about saving lives- or at least keeping them from getting eternally messed up.
And Samhain, if your soul is somehow still existing in a realm I haven’t foreseen, I still love you. Yes, I will seek another partner who will fill the void as best as possible. Yes, I will make sure I don’t end up getting killed too for your own sake.
   -Rena

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