reincarnate

My toes, barely visible past my scrunched-up nightgown, were overhanging the edge of the cliff, overlooking the vast beyond of space just at the edge of the world. Leaves with their sense of having escaped the mortality of autumn brushed roughly past my arm, carried by the wind- and my feet felt no less perturbed with the unwanted sensations, having been squeezed into high heels almost due for a resize. I’d traveled a week just to see what lay beyond the known edge of my mind, and I’d finally found it.
Okay, deep breath, Rena, just one jump and you’ll be free forever.
There was always a nagging sensation that this was all a dream, that waking up would return me to a mundane existence full of people I loved turning up dead and a bulls-eye forever painted on my back by the police for something not my fault. Sure, I always could have chosen not to pull the trigger while surrounded by regal swathes of snow and scarlet, but if I had to choose between my finger pulling it and someone else having that same power, I would choose myself every time. Because, in all certainly, that’s what a power freak would do- steal the choice away from somebody who didn’t deserve one in the first place. But in this dream place, I always could fly and glitch the sky out (which was ridiculously easy, seeing as I had never gone in an airplane or somewhere high to develop a sense of just how high the planet really was) to reveal a sea of stars and other galaxies just awaiting my touch. And even though stretching up myself to be bigger than Earth itself was so easy that I didn’t need the suspension of reality that being asleep offered and could do it in a waking state in my mind, shrinking myself always ended up either just crouched down or completely being blown out of proportion. Rena was never the tiny type, after all. Rena always had to have the best and the biggest for herself…
One slip of my high-heel-clad foot later, the ground gave away beneath me like sand falling through a giant’s fingers, and I was careening towards the great big ebony lining of my mind with my skirt fluttering up and into my face before dissolving into birds of paradise with the power to return to life. Sure, space wouldn’t care about one lone entity and her lacy underwear, but at least space was for all ages. And wouldn’t drowning in space- my arms were already thrusted up towards the world I’d left behind by my descent- be more peaceful than in the ocean? I would rather return to the stardust that I came from billions of years ago rather than be some shark’s next meal.
After falling for a while, the sky began to fade from the perfection of all colors combined to a void of them, and passing though the barrier felt like breaking the ice and then being plunged into Antarctica’s shores. But instead of giving away to frozen grounds, the roughness of blankets slipped on my skin, and a few rays of sunlight escaping from my bedroom window let me know that I was back in the world of the living. So much for my plans of joining Samhain in merry oblivion... I’d practically been birthed, had I not? The blood was there, and someone being pissed off was present, and someone felt like their uterus had been ripped off and no compensation given.

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