this blurb has absolutely nothing to do with my life, but I wrote it anyway

“I met her in science class. I’d seen this girl before in orchestra class, but I had never actually gotten to know her beyond a passing hello until this school year. She was quiet like me, and we liked a lot of the same stupid stuff, but I don’t think we would have actually met unless we had been sitting next to each other in science class like we were. It all started when I glanced at her iPad that she’d hacked Tumblr on despite the school’s wishes to keep all devices locked down onto their app store and saw a lot of the same bands and humor blogs that I always procrastinated to, and I suppose that every day in that class from then on just became a routine of getting some work done in order to keep up in class and then watch this beautiful girl and the things that made her happy. And I suppose, bit by bit, I fell in love with her, although I could never imagine myself in a typical future settled down with kids or ever in an actual relationship when she was around. But somehow, against everything I wanted, she somehow became one of my reasons for living, and I don’t like being dependent on people this way because then they unknowingly have my life in their hands. And every day, I fell more and more in love with her, and every day, I reminded myself more and more that I should try to stop and not tell her of this so that she didn’t have to have the burden of keeping my head above the water along with her own. And in this way, I became disillusioned with the world, I suppose.”

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