locked

Never did I think I would see the day where my current situation would be so void of drama that I would have to pull out a writing prompt. Constance, Calum, Ophelia, and Maxine are all out somewhere, probably trying to figure out the cluster**** (don’t you hate it when you have to censor profanity for some reason, but that profane word is the exact one you’re looking for?) that is the state of the Zorphian War at the current moment. Is the war still going on, even though we’ve been out of contact with whatever is left of the rebels for over a month? Or is it somehow over, Allaketo winning by placing Emma in a situation that she might never recover? (The doctors say that there will most likely be an eventual full recovery… of the body, at least. There was no comment on the state of her mind when Maxine pressed the doctors further.) To be honest, I would prefer that someone who wasn’t a raging homophobic rule this country, but judging from the Zorphians we’ve had the good fortune not to come across, the king’s probably just reflecting the people’s opinions and beliefs.
So onto the writing prompt… I was supposed to weave beautiful poetry about how the sunrise looks when I first step outside or something cheesy like that, but the sun is barely out when I go to school in the morning. For sure, if you have to wake up at five in the morning in order to have enough time to get ready so that you aren’t dashing down your street in a desperate attempt to catch the bus, your school starts way too early. (For reference, my school starts at 7:30 AM and ends at 2:00 PM.) Therefore, I don’t think I’ll be writing any poetry about sunrises or sunsets or the sun at all anytime soon.
I have a lot of repressed memories. It’s not that I actively tried to block out most of my childhood into the beginnings of middle school out, it just kind of… happened on its own, and it’s probably because the cringey events that I inadvertently made far outnumber the good ones. And besides, it’s not like I’m the only one who at least somewhat knows what I’m talking about- the brain naturally has a bias toward negative memories in a crappy attempt at self-defense. But this is worse… I mean, is it normal that I can remember every single detail of my old home that I grew up in until the first move to the city that my family moves in now, but I can only remember a handful of actual events that occurred within those walls? The one night when I fell asleep trying to sneak glances at the airplane simulator my father was playing around with back when the computer was on the other side of the room… the afternoon spent under gray skies slipping around on oversized tennis shoes because I didn’t have the balance or motor control required to stay up on skates… a tiny moment when I am five in which my mother yells at me for making a mess on the living room floor with Pokémon cards, trying to shuffle them the way my dad used to just because I wanted to play with him… why is most of my mind inaccessible to me? Whatever happened to make me so emotionless is the bigger question, probably. When did my personality retreat so far from the world that I’m often chastised for being rude or cold towards others?
What happened to me?

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