A few hours later, I was shoved by Emma and Maxine into the little spaceship, which apparently was as wide as two normal-size bathtubs side-by-side and as long as two of them… half of which was taken up by the thick windowless walls and whatever equipment the walls were lined with.
“Emma?” I piped up, backing myself up into a corner and noticing that they were attempting to pick up Constance so that they could slide him in too. “You know, when NASA sends people into space, they have actual rockets with safety precautions built in to protect the people against the extreme gravity caused by the ride up and the extreme heat from the rockets… they don’t have a barrel-shaped thing lined with fluffy carpet and shoe boxes. And I looked in one of the boxes- it’s labeled ‘anti-gravity control’- and it’s just a bunch of facial tissues crumpled up and shoved in.” They didn’t respond, of course, being that Constance was too busy wriggling around with their awkward position of holding him, trying to slide him in without getting anything sliced on the hastily-cut hole where the door would later be sealed. “Are you being careful with him? I don’t think he’ll like being in here as well-”
“Nah, I’m fine,” he replied, a bit flustered a moment later by his sudden drop into the body of the rocket, right next to me. “I’m fine, I swear…”
“You better be.” Emma and Maxine effortlessly slid in right then, closing the door behind them and flicking on the row of cheap Christmas lights that had been hanging from the ceiling. “Are we all ready?”
“Ready for what? There’s no way we’re going to break the atmosphere and survive, much less get off the driveway.”
“This rocket isn’t powered by rockets…” Emma gave Maxine a sly look, the look that I assumed meant that they were about to do something really stupid. Which they were, in fact, trying to do. “It’s powered by delusion. It’s incredibly powerful, you see, causing almost every war in human history and a lot of strife around the world from people who think that they’re somehow working for the greater good when they’re actually depriving fellow human beings of their rights.”
“Are we ready?” Maxine was bent over the controls of the rocket, which were actually just cardboard tubes glued to leftover puff balls.
“Yeah, I think we’re almost ready.”
“Okay.” She turned around, pointing to the corner by the one I was currently leaned up against. “Constance, I’m going to need you to sit over there.” When he was done moving, she added, “and May, I need you to sit on his lap.”
“You. On his lap. We’re all going to squish in. It’ll make the delusion transformer work better.”